fixed grin syndrome

Something that really frustrates me is what I am going to call ‘the Christian fixed grin syndrome’

Today I entered into a conversation with some new people I wondered across on Twitter. It seems that as soon as my humble opinion appeared to differ from theirs they were no longer interested in talking with me. I disputed the fact that they seemed to be saying that God makes us go through all manner of bad things in order to come out good at the end of it. To me, that very view portrays a very sadistic vision of ‘God’ and it has taken me years and years to move AWAY from that concept!

I find this a shame.

(I fully accept that God can if He chooses make good out of bad, but that He does not orchestrate the bad in order for that to happen : as to why He allows it to happen, still not overly sure that the reply ‘so good can come out’ is the best answer – not that I have any better one, but is it better to just be honest and say ‘i dont know’ when we dont know?)

It got me thinking about life. Real life. Reality, the highs and the lows. Especially after someone asked me to see if I could start writing ‘happier’ blogs.

Things is, for me, when I write, I very rarely set out with a definite plan. I write what I am thinking at that moment. What is on my mind, or in my heart to put on paper/type, be it blog posts, poems, or just posting a photo.

I am always very honoured that people follow this blog, read what i have to say about things, and also respond and stay in touch. I really don’t take it for granted, but I would like people to realise that this blog is ‘me’. My writing space. And the place I can put into writing some of my feelings. Without getting too mushy, what you see is what you get. I cant write ‘happy’ because someone has asked me too. my head just does not work that way.

Just like my head does not understand the fixed grin syndrome. I do not understand why people seem so oblivious to life and what surrounds them. I kinda get the concept that people like to Praise God/Worship in all circumstance. That is not really what I am disputing.

I am disputing the problem some people seem to have with other people simply not being able to smile, and this then in turn leading to judgment on their ‘Christian – ness’ or lack of it.

In my very own humble opinion, I am no less of a person or believer because I simply cannot raise a smile or laugh about serious situations than the person who can. In fact, the person who can laugh and smile in situations that can be so dire it is heartbreaking is off their head. Ignoring the reality of life.

Thing is, life isnt pretty is it.

An American friend recently got in touch with me regarding my previous post, the poem called ‘a poem’. I was very touched that he did (so thanks) but also it got me thinking. Thinking about how who i am , and where i have been, and what i have done is reflected in my writing. thats why some of it is not very happy writing/reading. because they were not very happy times, and sometimes still are not.

So why should I smile about them?

Just because i dont smile, does not mean I do not have a relationship with God.

But isnt it false to walk about with a grin glued to our face, when inside our hearts are breaking and being torn out?

Where does it get anyone? And is it really what God wants?

Or does God want us to just be before Him and other people and live our lives as we are? With a real honesty, whether that is sometimes brutal and hard to take for other people or not?

(And thank you to all you lovely peoples who take me as I am, there are lots of you, and its so appreciated, the above thoughts are just those, and not at all reflecting where I am at, because I personally am quite at home with being brutally honest now a days)


11 thoughts on “fixed grin syndrome

  1. “Or does God want us to just be before Him and other people and live our lives as we are? With a real honesty, whether that is sometimes brutal and hard to take for other people or not?”

    Well said. I think you hit the proverbial nail on the head. 🙂 Be the real you.

    • hey there purity,
      a bit slow to reply on here, but obviously we connected on twitter which is great 🙂 thanks for taking the time out to read my blog and respond!

  2. I was told earlier today that bloggers are a dime a dozen. what sets some apart is the ability to be totally honest. I get tired of the fixed grin syndrome. If life was supposed to be nothing but smiles and giggles, there wouldn’t be laments throughout The Word.

    • Hi Tony
      thank you for taking time to read my blog but also to respond/reply. I really appreciate both of your comments, alot. Look forwards to connecting with you via blog world and twitter, take care

  3. Reading your blog, I have to admit, I agree – it is false to walk about with a grin on your face when your falling apart inside.

    I learnt this a long time ago when I suffered severe depression with my “illness” as some call it! I learnt to be very honest with God.

    If you can’t be Honest with God who can you be honest with?

    I have said this to some Christians and they are shocked -I told them I have shouted, ranted and raved at Him – but I cannot lie to Him – how can I when He knows what is going on inside? Doesn’t make any sense to me at all?

    Yet on another occasion I am on my knees to the maker of the Universe in tears….


    • Angel,
      hey, thanks for readin, and commenting, and tweeting me. Looking forwards to hopefully catching up with you offline at the festival we both attend in the summer.
      Like you say, I have also had times, and still do where I rant and rave at God, but I kind of take the approach that god is big enough to hack it right? I mean , people go on about how big, awesome, and powerful He is, so surely He can take my shouting?
      hope your doing ok hun

  4. It is kinda weird, the way some Christians carry on. The people Jesus had the toughest words for were the fakers, the hypocrites, the mask wearers — yet the Church/popular Christian culture seems to be dominated by exactly those sort of people, faking their faith and pretending that God is great and s/he’s got a wonderful plan for our lives, yadda yadda yadda…

    Well pardon me, but stuff that. Most of the time, God is not so great — or certainly doesn’t seem to be; and I’m sure s/he’s a lot happier with people who aren’t afraid to say so.

    So, my dear fragz, you carry on being who you are and blogging from your heart: the last thing I want to see is you joining the ranks of fixed grinners!

    Love and hugz to ya!

    • hey fromthesamesky, thanks for coming by to comment, appreciated.
      hope your doing ok? i did tweet you last night to say thanks for your supportive tweet about honesty, but i dont think it worked.
      love Fragz x

  5. *just had another thought*

    I remind myself that Jesus/God understand about how we feel more than we realise

    Some christians forgot this –

    His mum was an unmarried teenager – as some point to be shunned by her fiancee
    His best friends were fisherman, dodgy tax
    men and prostitutes
    He was homeless
    He drank wine
    He swore
    He wept
    He got angry
    He hurt when his friends passed away
    He spoke truth, healed,
    He suffered in a lot of pain

    Just a thought

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