She Said No is a guest blog, written by a friend for many years. The other day I challenged my twitter friends to give a blog topic, that I could write about, and I got two suggestions back. One being Celibacy (the second one being ‘why I like brown gravy and chips – which I will blog about soon!) .
When I read the topic, I was like, whoah, so in true Fragz style, I texted my friend, and asked if he’d consider guest blogging for me. He has taken me up on the challenge. So please find below Tschakas response to my challenge. I myself will write on this topic in the next few days too.
She Said No – by Tschaka
I was challenged to write this ok?
So I’m making it up as I go along.
And it’s my fault. Afriend asked me what she should blog about and I tried to think of the most challenging thing possible.
So I said, ‘write about celibacy’. And she said, ‘only if you do too!’
It should be easy for me. I mean I live with several people who have decided that they are never going to marry. Why? Because they love God so much they want to live entirely for him (together with their friends).
But that sentence is enough to send most minds spinning. Mine too sometimes…
And yet I’ve seen it in action and it works, not always, but mostly; and it’s a beautiful thing…
It’s great to be around single people who just want to live life to the full, but not in a way that serves their own interests, but others’. There’s a family who live in the house too and they bring lots of life – in fact the simple humour and pleasure of sharing their lives is truly humbling – but it’s different. Being with celibates is inspiring, not because they are individually anything amazing (though they are) but because their direction in life causes you to look upwards to greater things. To things like living for God.
And there’s an even edgier reality to all this. I spoke to a man yesterday who knows a family with 13 children – 13! There’s no selfishness in that kind of life is there? Plenty of joy I imagine, but not much spare cash or time. They didn’t do it because they wanted to live-the-good-life. They made a strong choice not to live according to the common assumptions about how to be happy but in a way that fully celebrates life and yet is counter cultural.
In its own way, but in the other direction, celibacy is a full-on way of life too. Indeed it goes further in not choosing the world’s standards but a different way. I have friends, male and female who’ve said no to marriage for an adventure full of sacrifice and experience. A life filled with the choice to give yourself to other people and to God. In effect they’ve said no to the love of one friend above all others in exchange for a yes to the freedom to love as many friends as possible as much as possible. Famous Christian celibates like John Stott, Mike Pillavachi and Jackie Pullinger have always done that.
And I’m grateful that people like this, counter cultural people, married and celibate people, have always blessed me as I learn to follow Jesus, who is the ultimate in counter culture – because, of course, he wasn’t married either was he?