A little while ago, I suggested on Twitter that people gave me some topics to blog about. I got two. And I have yet to blog about either of them. How slack am I? So, the first was ‘chips and brown gravy and why I like it’. Unfortunately that blog is going to be rather hard to do, because I even though, to some people I am considered a ‘northerner’, not all of us like our chips with gravy! Cheese or curry sauce is a good combination though 🙂 So, thanks for the suggestion, but I feel my blog duty on that topic is done now due to having a lack of anything to say about it.
The second suggestion was ‘Celibacy’. To which I went ‘whoah’, go in for the deep there then! So, as a response to that, I challenged the person who suggested it to ‘guest blog’ his views on the topic. Which he duly did, and which you can find by the clicking the link below if you have not read if or wish to refresh on what he wrote.
She Said No – by Tschaka – A Guest Blog
Now, having never invited someone to ‘guest blog’ for me before, I have learned one or two things. One of those things is that if its on a specific topic that I also want to write about, then it may be preferable for me to post first, so the guest blogger has an opportunity to respond. Also, I dont want it to feel/look like that I have invited someone to blog, and the by posting my owns view may be contradicting or arguing what they have said. That is never the intention. So, in future I shall either blog first or invite people to guest blog ‘stand alone’ topics. 🙂
Anyhow, as promised here are some of my thoughts.
The wikipedia definition of the word ‘Celibacy’ is this – Celibacy is defined as the lifestyle of someone who is voluntarily abstaining from all sexual activities (also known as “abstinence”), possibly remaining unmarried all his/her life.
I have conversations in the past with people, where the meaning of celibacy means different things. To me, in my mind, the meaning of it is as above. Its a lifestyle practice/choice that people make, for whatever reasons they choose. For some, or for the people I know who have gone down this choice, the reasons have been faith based. Their faith in Christianity is such that they believe they have been ‘called’ to live a life of celibacy, which means no sex, no marriage, no children. They feel called and choose to live a single life. Many people make a life long commitment to this. Some people set a period, for example 10 years. Maybe some people are intentionally ‘celibate’ for one or two years, to ‘test the water; so to speak. To see if its a calling God has on their life forever.
What I don’t believe celibacy is however, is being unable to find a partner. Or being ‘single’ and/or then ‘without sex’ for a while, however long that while is. It surely isn’t a choice if you haven’t made the choice is it?!
Whilst I have no problem with Tschaka in his post, where he writes about some of the people he knows being celibate because they want to be totally devoted to God, I would like to suggest you can be devoted to God without having to make such a huge step/commitment?
Its fair to point out right now, I am writing this, as I think its fair to say Tschaka did coming from a faith based perspective. If you read the page on wikipedia about ‘celibacy’ it lists lots of other reasons as to why people may ‘choose’ to be celibate. I guess I am interested in ‘Christians’ and celibacy.
I have spoken to one or two people in the past, over the years on this topic, and their experiences. I in fact myself did ‘2’ years of intentional ‘celibacy’ living. I then decided it was not what God wanted for me, as my motivations behind it were less to do with it being Gods desire for me, as opposed to my inability to deal with ‘relationships’. For me, personally, it was a way of ‘copping out’ for a bit, hence it not being the right thing for me to do.
Tschaka expresses reasons in his post as to why some of his friends are celibate. They talk about living a full on life of sacrifice and not choosing to live by the worlds standards, BUT surely that can happen whether your married or not? Surely, you can honour God, not follow trends, and be totally committed to God AND be married or in a relationship?
All this kind of, in my head anyway, leads on the topic of S.E.X. Gasp. Not something everyone likes to mention/talk about/read on I guess. But, I am not shy 🙂
Part of being celibate is not having sex. Right. But why would God NOT want someone to have sex?
Isnt sex a natural, normal part of a relationship? Yes, it is also a procreation thing. To have children you need to have sex (although these days I guess there are more ways of going about it if you so choose).
I sometimes struggle to convince people that I do believe in the sanctity of sex, and personally I believe, for me, now anyway, it is something that should happen mutually within the confines of a marriage, however, if a couple have been together, say 20 years, are not married but totally committed to each, and dare I say God too, what actual harm is it for them to have sex? Is it offensive to God? or do we think /make more complicated what God is offended by?
I’d like to suggest that are more important issues to consider than whether people are having sex or not? I, in no means however think ‘casual’ sex is a particularly good idea, mostly due to health reasons.
Anyway, I am going to end this blog on that note, for the time being, and will come back to write some more thoughts on the topic at some point.