nightime words

This poem is hot off the press, having only just being written. Am testing mobile wordpress so do let me know if this works if you see it before I get to a computer.

Nightime words

In the middle of the night
All is still, silence all around
The skies are black, stars shining
An owl hoots, no cares in the world.

On the bed she lays,
Staring out of the window,
Thinking how life is passing her by,
Daring to dream of change.

The heart cry of her world,
Longs to love and be loved,
Waiting quietly in the shadows
Of all that is good around her.

A song in the background,
Melodies, sweet harmonies,
Over and over, gentle words,
Soothing the soul, healing the hurt.

A mind so broken and fragmented,
Slowly being put back to pieces,
Longing for the day to arrive,
Where beauty shines through.

copyright fragmentz

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Celibacy – A Response

A little while ago, I suggested on Twitter that people gave me some topics to blog about. I got two. And I have yet to blog about either of them. How slack am I? So, the first was ‘chips and brown gravy and why I like it’. Unfortunately that blog is going to be rather hard to do, because I even though, to some people I am considered a ‘northerner’, not all of us like our chips with gravy! Cheese or curry sauce is a good combination though 🙂 So, thanks for the suggestion, but I feel my blog duty on that topic is done now due to having a lack of anything to say about it.

The second suggestion was ‘Celibacy’. To which I went ‘whoah’, go in for the deep there then! So, as a response to that, I challenged the person who suggested it to ‘guest blog’ his views on the topic. Which he duly did, and which you can find by the clicking the link below if you have not read if or wish to refresh on what he wrote.

She Said No – by Tschaka – A Guest Blog

Now, having never invited someone to ‘guest blog’ for me before, I have learned one or two things. One of those things is that if its on a specific topic that I also want to write about, then it may be preferable for me to post first, so the guest blogger has an opportunity to respond. Also, I dont want it to feel/look like that I have invited someone to blog, and the by posting my owns view may be contradicting or arguing what they have said. That is never the intention. So, in future I shall either blog first or invite people to guest blog ‘stand alone’ topics. 🙂

Anyhow, as promised here are some of my thoughts.

The wikipedia definition of the word ‘Celibacy’ is this – Celibacy is defined as the lifestyle of someone who is voluntarily abstaining from all sexual activities (also known as “abstinence”), possibly remaining unmarried all his/her life.

I have conversations in the past with people, where the meaning of celibacy means different things. To me, in my mind, the meaning of it is as above. Its a lifestyle practice/choice that people make, for whatever reasons they choose. For some, or for the people I know who have gone down this choice, the reasons have been faith based. Their faith in Christianity is such that they believe they have been ‘called’ to live a life of celibacy, which means no sex, no marriage, no children. They feel called and choose to live a single life. Many people make a life long commitment to this. Some people set a period, for example 10 years. Maybe some people are intentionally ‘celibate’ for one or two years, to ‘test the water; so to speak. To see if its a calling God has on their life forever.

What I don’t believe celibacy is however, is being unable to find a partner. Or being ‘single’ and/or then ‘without sex’ for a while, however long that while is. It surely isn’t a choice if you haven’t made the choice is it?!

Whilst I have no problem with Tschaka in his post, where he writes about some of the people he knows being celibate because they want to be totally devoted to God, I would like to suggest you can be devoted to God without having to make such a huge step/commitment?

Its fair to point out right now, I am writing this, as I think its fair to say Tschaka did coming from a faith based perspective. If you read the page on wikipedia about ‘celibacy’ it lists lots of other reasons as to why people may ‘choose’ to be celibate. I guess I am interested in ‘Christians’ and celibacy.

I have spoken to one or two people in the past, over the years on this topic, and their experiences. I in fact myself did ‘2’ years of intentional ‘celibacy’ living. I then decided it was not what God wanted for me, as my motivations behind it were less to do with it being Gods desire for me, as opposed to my inability to deal with ‘relationships’.  For me, personally, it was a way of ‘copping out’ for a bit, hence it not being the right thing for me to do.

Tschaka expresses reasons in his post as to why some of his friends are celibate. They talk about living a full on life of sacrifice and not choosing to live by the worlds standards, BUT surely that can happen whether your married or not? Surely, you can honour God, not follow trends, and be totally committed to God AND be married or in a relationship?

All this kind of, in my head anyway, leads on the topic of S.E.X. Gasp. Not something everyone likes to mention/talk about/read on I guess. But, I am not shy 🙂

Part of being celibate is not having sex. Right. But why would God NOT want someone to have sex?

Isnt sex a natural, normal part of a relationship? Yes, it is also a procreation thing. To have children you need to have sex (although these days I guess there are more ways of going about it if you so choose).

I sometimes struggle to convince people that I do believe in the sanctity of sex, and personally I believe, for me, now anyway, it is something that should happen mutually within the confines of a marriage, however, if a couple have been together, say 20 years, are not married but totally committed to each, and dare I say God too, what actual harm is it for them to have sex? Is it offensive to God? or do we think /make more complicated what God is offended by?

I’d like to suggest that are more important issues to consider than whether people are having sex or not? I, in no means however think ‘casual’ sex is a particularly good idea, mostly due to health reasons.

Anyway, I am going to end this blog on that note, for the time being, and will come back to write some more thoughts on the topic at some point.

another place

This photo was taken in Feb 08 at the Crosby beach where the ‘Another Place’ exhibition is by Anthony Gormley.

I was staying with some people who over the last couple of years have been amazing friends to me. I went to visit them whilst going through a really tough time, and one day we went for a walk down the beach, and I took some photos.

I took a fair few that day, one being a special one which is framed and on a wall in a house somewhere, now belonging to those very special people, and below is a different one which I like.

© fragmentz

a new poem – no name yet

Everything in disarray … the cuts bleeding,

crumpled on the floor,

a beautiful face so distant, weeping.

So weary, so exhausted, broken,

a glass shell shattering into tiny pieces,

Until it is just a dust on the dirty floor

The rain falls, the winds blow

From the east, through to the west

The storm rages, heavy and rough

The skies darken, turning to black,

All of creation trembles, all hope moving,

Further away, slowly disappearing.

Eyes so tired, finally slowly closing,

So gentle, as everything turns to white

And peace overtakes above all else

The warmth engulfs the soul,

Sweeping through every part,

As the little sweet nothings are whispered

The long night comes to an end,

The light begins to rise, morning is here

Another battle is over for now.

© fragmentz

better than a hallelujah

came across the lyrics of a song, by amy grant earlier – made me think alot.

better than a hallelujah – lyrics by amy grant

God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves the drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what’s been done,
The silence when the words won’t come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out, singing out.